The saddest goodbye

I never thought there would come a day when I actually have to have a conversation with a friend about ending our friendship. Most friendships that do not work go on to die a natural death, slowly and obliquely. But this friendship, although it has been rocky for years now, have still managed to cling on to a sliver of hope that things could come back to the way it was. Sadly, that was not the case, and instead of hanging on and working so hard at what used to come naturally, it is time end that chapter of my life.


Ending this friendship is far more devastating than any other breakup I have gone through because this carries YEARS of milestones. We were part of each others' lives and shared in the inevitable highs and lows. We went through a lot of 'firsts' together and it has been a great journey. 


That is life, so they say. People come into your life and people go. I take comfort in knowing that she has a very special place in my life, one that is unlikely to be ever replaced by anyone. Not in this lifetime, because our friendship was one in a million. 

Simple joys

Some of my favorites:

1. Getting up when my body tells me it's time to wake up and not being 'told' to wake up by the alarm. 
2. Having my face or hand licked by my dog.
3. Sitting home on a Friday night with a good movie and some snacks.
4. Finishing an enthralling book.
5. Marking a brilliant essay.
6. Coffee with some of my best mates.
7. Listening to jazz whilst it is raining or when the weather is cool and grey.
8. The smell of my favorite food cooking.
9. A really good cardio workout.
10. A cuddle from someone I care about. 

Is marriage a dying institution?

On the way to work one morning I was listening to the radio. For some reason or other, I was listening to Lite FM. The station of choice for the mature generation. Perhaps I was in the mood for some matured entertainment or perhaps I was feeling my age that morning. For your information, the stations have adjusted the demographics of their target audience. Hitz fm is now targeted at the 10-18 age group, Mix fm to the 19-25 age group and Lite fm for the 26+ age group. I fall in the latter category and therefore have voluntarily admitted myself as a ‘matured’ person. Anyway, the announcers were asking their question of the day and it was

“Is marriage a dying institution?”

My answer to that question is no. It is not a dying institution but it has definitely changed and evolved. The idea of marriage 50 years ago and today is very different. In todays modern world, people enter marriage because they have found a person with whom they can stomach the rest of their lives with. Decades ago, people, especially women entered into marriage for security and stability reasons. As a result, they put up with a lot more than most modern women would. Infidelity, ignorance, abuse – be it physical, verbal or emotional, abandonment, the list goes on. The modern woman, one who’s financially capable to support herself do not need to be tied down to a marriage to a man if these issues were to occur. She has the emancipation women 50 years ago could only dream of having.

Having said that, people ARE rushing into marriage BECAUSE it is so easy to get out of it. Divorce no longer carries the same stigma in our society as it used to. More and more young people are signing divorce papers before they hit 30 years of age. It is due in part, the pressure of society for young people to settle down and the romance most women place in the idea of weddings. Young women tend to get carried away with the minute details of an elaborate wedding and once it is over, the reality of marriage sinks in. Because divorce is so easy to obtain these days, young people don’t give a single lingering thought of leaping into a binding marriage contract and two seconds later renouncing that very same binding contract. 

You don't know me anymore

Memories that linger in the corners of my mind
Bittersweet memories that refuse to fade
In my moments of darkness, I remember the times and 
I am glad, it lifts me up because I am no longer in that place


The sound of my own heart breaking
Pierces the air and shatters the night
It's all black and unmoving
Time has stopped and for that moment, I was dead. 


You said you were sorry
You said forgive me
You said I am begging for another chance
You said you still love me


Our love was like a season 
A season past its time
That magical season that will never return
Because of you


My heart is not bitter
It will not shrivel up because of what you did
You do not have the power to do or take away anything from me
Because my wounded heart is mine and mine alone
Like a phoenix, it will rise from the shattered pieces
And triumph over your lowly deed and cold, cold heart

My first love

I’m just going to say it. Patrick Swayze was my very first love. Ok, first celebrity crush. Talk about falling for an older man.  When Dirty Dancing premiered, I was a mere five year old. What do I know about boys and crushes?  The defining moment was when I turned nine. Ghost premiered in the State cinema – those who grew up in Petaling  Jaya in the 90’s will know that it was THE cinema in town.  To an impressionable nine year old child, going to the movies was like stepping into another world. A world of wonder and intrigue where the characters are larger than life and indeed life seemed larger than life.

The memory is vividly etched in my mind. It was a rainy Saturday evening and my father was driving to the State cinema. My mother and my older female cousin were in the car with us. They were trying to persuade my dad to watch the movie to which my dad vehemently refused, saying it was a chick flick. (Well he didn’t use those words specifically, but it was something to that effect.)

I was excited. The movie received a lot of hype, as a wonderfully romantic love story. There were even rumours of mild nudity scenes included in the movie!  Needles to say, I was thrilled to be watching Ghost. It made me feel like a grown up.  Before disembarking from the car, my dad handed us a box of tissues.

“Here, you are going to need this”

Stepping into the cinema armed with popcorn and Coke, I settled happily into my seat and watched eagerly as the scenes unfolded before me.  It didn’t take long for me to notice the handsome leading man.  His name was Sam. I watched in dismay as he was killed early in the movie but was revived in the following scenes as a ghost.  The pottery scene mesmerised me. It was delicate, intimate,  bittersweet and accompanied by a song that will forever stick in my mind as the most romantic love song ever.  It was then that I felt the first flutter of a crush. It was an awakening of a more adult nature that paralysed me with delirium.

It was at that point where my mum and my cousin reached for their tissues.  I guess I was too young then to comprehend that he wasn’t physically there with the woman he loves. To my undeveloped senses, it was a just a beautiful love scene.  Yet, not wanting to be left out, I cried too, without really knowing why.

Years later, whenever I re watch the movie, it never fails to trigger my tears.  This time, the tears are accompanied with a tug at my heartstrings.  I felt for Molly - the wrenching feeling of abandonment and loneliness.  The saying “The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right there with them and knowing that you can never be with them” never rang truer in this case.

Stepping out of the cinema, I noticed there wasn’t a single dry eye leaving the building. My cousin was still dabbing her eyes and my mum’s eyes were red and sore.  My dad was waiting for us at the kerb with a smirk on his face when he saw our tear stained ones.  From then on, I lapsed into a pre-teen moody phase. I wore black clothing and claimed to want to see ghosts, so that I could see Sam. 

I did see ‘Sam’ again. A couple of years later – only this time he wasn’t Sam, but Johnny Castle.  A smooth talking heartbreaker who could move with the combination of grace and sensuality on the dance floor.   It was as though he moved on to match my adolescent growth.  From a sweet sensitive man, to a sensuous lady’s man.  I realise that chronologically, this is incorrect as Dirty Dancing was an earlier film, but I am glad that I saw Sam before Johnny. It was like seeing him come back to life, with a fun personality and scorching hot physique to match.

Dirty Dancing was a whole different experience.  How he probed Baby to be more confident through the dancing lessons.  The exploration of their love and her sexual awakening.  How Baby encouraged Johnny to break out from his stereotype. The feeling of weightlessness as Johnny lifts Baby up in the air in their triumphant dance.  I wanted to be Baby so badly.

A couple of years ago, while walking the streets of West End trying to decide which play to see, I saw a poster in Piccadilly theatre for Guys and Dolls featuring none other than Patrick Swayze! The decision made, I marched straight in to get a ticket. That night, I walked into the auditorium with butterflies in my stomach. I was finally going to see Sam/Johnny! As the curtain came up, an announcement was made over the PA stating that an understudy will be playing Patrick Swayze’s role of Nathan Detroit as Mr. Swayze was ill. I was crushed that my crush will not be appearing that night. I still managed to enjoy the show though.

Patrick Swayze has cemented his place in my heart and mind. To me, he portrays characters who display the best qualities of a man. His ability to portray them so convincingly on screen must mean that it comes naturally from within him. That makes him a beautiful man inside and out.  Ever since Ghost, Patrick Swayze has held a piece of my heart. With his passing, he takes that piece with him.

Rest well Patrick. xxx

In the mood for love

I wrote this a couple of months ago to submit to OM. Romantic comedies are my favorite movie genre. It may not be intellectually stimulating or have original plot lines, but I love it all the same. It's like a guilty indulgence. For two hours, you can get lost into a movie and really believe in such extraordinary love/life circumstances. The best  types are ones that have a twist. As a viewer, I don't really enjoy happy endings because they are utterly predictable. That is why movies like Prime and Bridges of Madison County are especially good. The bittersweet themes of love lost resonates with me. I must be pretty tragic to enjoy watching such heartbreaking movies. Ok, so they may not be romantic COMEDIES, but they are romance driven. 

It just occurred to me, Shallow Hal is probably the most brilliant of all romantic comedies, closely followed with Something's Gotta give, Love Actually and Bridget Jones Edge of Reason. 

• Shallow Hal- The movie was interesting because it really proves that love can be blind. How liberating would it be to not conform to society's views on what constitutes beauty? It got me thinking, that love is possible with anyone regardless of how they look. If only I had the same ability to have 24/7 beer goggles on. 
• Something's gotta give - Well, my views on this very brilliant movie is below. :) 
• Love Actually - Another brilliant film that showcases the various forms of romantic love. I think the message that Love is all around is very powerful and serves as a reminder that modern life takes so much from us daily that we are unable to appreciate or indulge in the love that surrounds us everyday.
• Bridget Jones - Confession: I am able to relate to Bridget. Our lives are scarily parallel in so many ways.  

Top 10 romance movies in Geraldine’s humble opinion.

10.  Casablanca – Apart from spawning cult one liners, it was one of the original love stories that ended in heartbreak as an individual proves his love for a woman by letting her go. This ultimate self sacrifice has shaped my notion about how love is sometimes selfless.

9. A Walk to Remember – Pays homage to the Love Story theme where young lovers are rendered with the impossible situation of losing one another to a fatal illness. Their conviction in their love inspires me to look beyond the mundane petty things that may sometimes cloud a relationship.

8. The Way We Were – A story about how opposites attract. Despite the odds, Katie (Barbara Streisand) and Hubbell (Robert Redford) fall in love and embark on a tumultuous relationship. Ultimately, what attracted them to one another was the reason behind the crumble of their relationship. However, it speaks volumes about how certain issues could be overlooked and how love can sometimes transcend even the most convicted card carrying Marxist!

7.  Only You – This movie is saccharine sweet and has universal appeal. It is also very 90’s Hollywood driven blockbuster. Nonetheless, the setting is beautiful (Venice and Positano)The protagonist Faith has faith in fate. She believes in soul mates and is convinced that she was meant to be with one Damon Bradley. The movie chronicles her misadventures as she chases the mysterious Damon Bradley around Italy and along the way meets a man named Peter Wright. I believe the writer was using puns with the names of the characters. Faith who believes in fate and destiny wholeheartedly and Peter Wright who had the wrong name initially, but ended up being Mr. Right 

6. Bridges of Madison County – The irreplaceable Meryl Streep stars in this movie that has opened my eyes to the possibility that some love affairs, no matter how brief can last a lifetime in a person’s memory and heart. A story of sacrifice and forbidden love, it paints a very real picture of unhappy couples in dysfunctional relationships everywhere who engage in secret love affairs but as a sense of duty, choose to end the affair for the sake of the family unit.

5. You’ve Got Mail – You just can’t go wrong with this combination. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. What’s not to love? Sleepless in Seattle was another good movie but this one has trumps Sleepless for various reasons. It does not start off as a romantic movie. Both individuals are strong, career minded people and they enjoy witty banter. I suppose this movie struck a chord in me as I ADORE witty banter. Although the ending is thoroughly predictable, it is the journey that enthrals me. The exchange of ideas and opinions on culture and books. The snide comments made to one another. It’s a great romantic comedy that merits a view (or twenty and counting)

4. Something’s Gotta Give - This is a real gem of 21^st century romantic comedy. It comments on very real issues that stem from centuries old stereotypes and presents them in a modern context. It has enough twists to make it interesting to watch with a healthy dose of culture to inspire me to live the finer life. There are hilarious role reversals and honest commentary on modern relationships that cling to some traditional stereotypes.  The paradoxes in the movie are enough to get me in stitches, every time I watch it. 

3. The Notebook - A story of undying loyalty and devotion. Noah and Ally were truly made for one another and have weathered the predictable storms early in their relationship to find and make something last. He from a working class background; and she a Southern debutante. What makes this movie exceptional from the usual star crossed lovers of contrasting backgrounds is the enduring love they have for one another. Their love prevailed objection from her family, wartime, her imminent engagement, their differing temperaments and many more.

2. Pretty Woman – The ultimate grown-up Cinderella tale. Despite the gritty secondary themes; prostitution, drugs and Sunset Strip, this movie still managed to emerge a shining example of a modern love story where people are able to change one another for the better regardless of their background. The movie confronted the hardships both characters had to endure but portrayed them in a believable yet comical way.  The chemistry between Richard Gere and Julia Roberts was ultimately the clincher for this movie that made it one of the most memorable romantic movies in my book.

1.  French Kiss – This might not be anybody’s idea of a romantic story. For one, the protagonist, Meg Ryan spends the better part of the movie chasing her fiancé in Paris trying to convince him to return to her after he dumped her for a French woman while on a business trip to Paris. She meets Luc who has his own agenda in befriending her and the both of them embark on a hilarious goose chase around France tracking down the elusive and philandering Charlie.            What makes this movie my top choice is purely setting and plotline.  It was a beautifully shot film, incorporating many themes near that are near and dear to my heart. As for plotline, it inspires me to think about love in another angle, and not be consumed with the idea that there is one ‘perfect’ one for me out there, This movie has taught me that even the best laid plans can fall apart and the only way to live is joie the vivre!

Other honourable mentions:

Love Story

Notting Hill

The Bodyguard

Titanic –Lame, I know but still manages to tug at the heartstrings

When Harry met Sally

The English Patient

Persuasion

Serendipity

Ghost

Gone with the wind

A very long engagement

Love Actually